What’s Your Relationship Attachment Style?

Did you ever consider that the issues present in your relationship could stem from your attachment style? A person’s attachment style is a factor in the success of their relationships. 

Attachment theory is a theory that explains how one person attaches to another individual. According to the theory, a person’s attachment style begins early in life when infants seek comfort and security from at least one caregiver. The caregiver’s response will set in motion the developmental pattern of attachment of the individual.  

From these interactions with their caregiver, the infant’s internal guidance system (or internal working model) for relationships is formed.

This internal guidance system influences the feelings, behaviors, and expectations one may have of their partner throughout life. It will also affect how comfortable a person is with intimacy and independence.   

In therapy, couples learn to identify their attachment style and understand how it plays out in their relationship. They also learn to apply strategies which help improve their relationships with others.

Is it time for couples counseling?

couples counseling, marriage counseling, pembroke pines

Many couples struggle with the idea of counseling for different reasons. One reason is that starting counseling confirms there is a problem. Recognizing a problem can be very difficult. No one wants to admit there is something wrong with their relationship. It can be especially difficult to admit if you see all your friends doing just fine in their relationship, but the truth is all couples have ups and downs. It is part of being in a close relationship with someone. The real problem arises when couples keep their head in the sand, so to speak, and do nothing about what is going on. Unfortunately, it doesn’t go away on its own. Sweeping things under the rug isn’t an effective approach to resolving the conflict. In fact, in the long run, this conflict resolution tactic will only lead to other major problems. It doesn’t have to get to that place, but it will if left untreated.

Couples counseling is private and confidential. No one needs to know. All they will notice is how things seem to be different between the two of you. Better, improved, refreshed. You invested in this person. You married them and planned a future with them. However, you didn’t expect there would be maintenance that needed to be done to keep the relationship in its best condition. Like everything else that we own, it needs our care and attention. Our relationship needs it too.

Don’t wait any longer thinking you can work this out. I hear that all the time. If you could have “worked it out” without help you probably would be reading something different. If you could have done it alone, your relationship would be in that different and better place. It really isn’t too late. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to seek a professional about improving your marriage. It’s about your commitment to your partner and your family. They should be more important than anything else.

If you’re interested in couples counseling and would like to meet with a therapist, contact me. I serve Pembroke Pines, Davie, Weston, Southwest Ranches, Plantation, Cooper City and surrounding areas.

Learn to Deal With Life’s Challenges

Are you Missing Something?

Do you feel like there is something missing in your life? Is it hard to find joy and happiness in the things you do? Do you feel like the pressures of life are too much to handle? Or, are you looking for something more but don’t know what it is or where to start looking?

Don’t let the ups and downs of life steal your joy.

As humans, we experience many ups and downs in life. These issues can steal our joy if we let them. When that happens, we may be tempted to stay in bed under our covers and hide from the world. Or even fantasize about running away from our own life and situation. Although we may find short-term relief by avoiding the very thing that is turning on the pressure, engaging in unhealthy habits or denying the existence of our problems isn’t real or long-lasting solutions. In fact, they often create more problems.

Good News

The good news is there are other ways of handling difficult circumstances. You can find joy despite your problems, and you can be happy while you wait for your situation to improve.

Your not Alone.

I work with individuals experiencing these same feelings. And one thing I often hear about is how monotonous, difficult or joyless life can be. I know all of that can be true, but life can and should be more than just that. You can find ways to deal with life’s challenges without letting those challenges deal with you. Let me show you how.

Don’t wait to get your joy back.

Take the first step to having a more fulfilled and blessed life. Call me for a free 15-minute consultation and don’t waste any more of your precious life feeling down, unhappy and joyless. I serve the following areas in South Florida. Pembroke Pines, Davie, Weston, Southwest Ranches, Plantation, Cooper City and the entire Tri-County area.

You deserve to be happy!

Stress and its Stages

Stress is defined as “the nonspecific response of the body to any demand made upon it”. These demands that cause the body to react and adapt can be positive or negative. 

The body’s biological response to stress occurs in three stages: The alarm reaction (AR) stage, the stage of resistance, and the stage of exhaustion. 

During the alarm reaction stage, the body exerts energy that helps it adapt to the perceived threat. This is known as the fight, flight, or freeze response. 

In the stage of resistance, the body attempts to maintain homeostasis. After prolonged exposure to stress the body begins to break down, this is known as the stage of exhaustion. Depression, anxiety, and trouble sleeping can be evident in this last stage. 

Talking with a professional counselor is an effective way of decreasing stress and finding ways of coping.

Coping with Stress

Coping can take many different forms. A person can cope by using a problem-focused or an emotionally-focused approach. 

A problem-focused approach is when the person attempts to change the stressor responsible for the distress. This form of coping is not always an option. 

Emotion-focused coping is used when a person must endure the stressor. This type of coping focuses on changing the emotions associated with the stressor. In other words, if you cannot change the problem, then change how you feel about the problem. 

In therapy, clients learn how to cope with stressors that cannot be directly impacted. A licensed professional can help you learn to manage the stressors and/or the emotions that are causing distress. 

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and is this approach right for me?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT is a clinical approach that helps people change their distressing circumstances by first changing the thoughts causing them. Chances are that if you or someone you know is experiencing anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, social anxiety, lack of assertiveness, or adjustment issues the underlying thoughts are contributing in some way. One advantage to seeking professional help is uncovering the core thoughts that perpetuate the distress. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has had great success in treating these and many other conditions.

Clients usually attempt psychotherapy after they have made several attempts at solving their problems using alternate methods. One reason why clients don’t find relief from their distressing situation is that they are not working at the source of the problem. How one views their situation will affect how they will behave and feel. For that reason, it is important to have thoughts that are conducive to the kind of life you want to have. If you feel that your life is not in line with what your dreams or wishes have been, then take control and change the course of your future. Don’t let another year, five or ten go by before you act. The time that passes by can’t be recovered. Learn how to create the life that you like so you can look back at the memories and say, ‘those were the good old days.’

What to expect…

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a time-limited approach. So, you won’t spend year after year in therapy. It is a structured approach that addresses the problems the client is experiencing at the moment.

How it works…
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps clients resolve their distress by recognizing and changing their irrational thoughts, restructuring their core beliefs, and learning to find evidence that supports their thinking.

If you would like to talk to a therapist about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, contact me. I serve Pembroke Pines, Davie, Weston, Southwest Ranches, Plantation, Cooper City and surrounding areas.