Therapeutic Success

Becoming Secure: The Journey to Healthy Self-Worth

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When we think of self-esteem, we often imagine someone confident, assertive, and outspoken. But in therapy, we learn that healthy self-esteem isn’t about being the loudest in the room or having it all together—it’s about feeling secure in who you are, even when life isn’t perfect.

Self-Esteem Isn’t a Performance

Many of my clients believe that they’d finally feel better about themselves if they were just more confident.

But self-esteem isn’t something we “perform.” It’s not about pretending we have it all figured out.

Some of the most courageous moments of self-esteem happen quietly—in setting a boundary, saying “no” without apologizing, or showing up authentically, even when it’s uncomfortable.

The Signs of Healthy Self-Esteem

In therapy, we often work toward helping clients:

  • Set boundaries without guilt
  • Speak their needs clearly and respectfully
  • Acknowledge mistakes without spiraling into shame
  • Receive feedback without internalizing it as failure
  • Trust their intuition instead of outsourcing decisions to others

These changes don’t happen overnight, but they build slowly through consistent emotional work, healing, and support.

What Gets in the Way

If you’ve struggled with self-esteem, there’s usually a story behind it.

Maybe you were raised in a critical household, had relationships where your worth was questioned, or internalized beliefs that made you feel “not enough.”

Therapy gives space to untangle those stories—and start telling new ones.

Healing in the Therapy Room

In the therapy room, I help clients not just talk about self-esteem, but experience it.

That might look like noticing when you’re minimizing your needs, exploring the discomfort of taking up space, or celebrating moments where you advocate for yourself, even in small ways.

Final Thoughts

Healthy self-esteem is quiet, grounded, and deeply rooted in truth.

You don’t need to shout to believe in yourself.

You just need to stop silencing the parts of you that already know you matter.

What is EMDR?

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Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a psychotherapy technique used to treat various mental health conditions, particularly those involving trauma, such as PTSD, anxiety, and depression. It’s based on the idea that traumatic memories are stored differently in the brain than regular memories. 

The core concept of EMDR is that these disturbing or distressing memories and experiences can become “stuck” in the brain.  EMDR helps the brain reprocess these memories more adaptively, reducing their emotional intensity and impact on the present. 

The therapist helps the client identify the specific traumatic event(s) that are causing distress.  This involves thoroughly exploring the client’s experiences and feelings related to the trauma. During EMDR, the client focuses on a distressing image, thought, or feeling while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation.  As the client attends to both the distressing image and the bilateral stimulation, they begin to re-experience the trauma-related memory.  The therapy also takes account of the physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions connected to the memory. 

A key component of EMDR is not just focusing on the trauma, but also actively identifying and establishing positive or neutral feelings and beliefs. It’s important to note that EMDR is not a “quick fix.”  It usually involves several sessions over some time.  The exact number of sessions and specifics of each session vary depending on the individual client and the type of trauma involved.

If considering EMDR therapy, it’s essential to find a qualified therapist with experience in trauma work and EMDR techniques. Contact a qualified mental health professional if you are someone you know is struggling with trauma.  

Treatment for Social Anxiety Disorder

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment for social anxiety disorder (SAD), which involves an intense fear of judgment or embarrassment in social settings.

CBT focuses on identifying and restructuring negative thought patterns and employs behavioral strategies, such as exposure therapy, to help individuals gradually face their social fears. It also provides practical skills like deep breathing and mindfulness to manage physiological anxiety symptoms. 

Automatic Thoughts

Automatic thoughts significantly contribute to the maintenance of social anxiety. These thoughts are frequently negative and distorted, intensifying anxiety by acting as a mechanism that perpetuates it.

In cognitive behavioral therapy, various methods are employed to address these automatic thoughts. For instance, techniques such as journaling, restructuring, and replacing distorted thinking are utilized in counseling to treat these automatic thoughts.

Other Therapies

Gradual exposure is a behavioral technique in which individuals progressively confront social situations they fear, beginning with less intimidating ones and gradually advancing to more challenging scenarios. For example, a person might start by making small talk with a cashier before eventually delivering a presentation in class. This method of gradual exposure helps build confidence and reduces avoidance behaviors.

Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation, often complement cognitive and behavioral strategies. These techniques help individuals stay calm and focused during anxiety-provoking situations, making it easier to confront their fears.

Why Therapy?

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couples counseling, marriage counseling, pembroke pines

Many couples struggle with the idea of counseling for various reasons. One reason is that beginning counseling confirms the existence of a problem. Recognizing a problem can be very difficult. Nobody wants to admit there is something wrong with their relationship. However, the truth is that all couples have their ups and downs. It is a normal part of being in a close relationship with someone. The real problem arises when couples ignore what is going on, hoping it will just go away. Unfortunately, issues don’t resolve themselves on their own. Avoiding the conflict by sweeping things under the rug is not an effective approach, and in the long run, it can lead to more serious problems.

Benefits of counseling

Couples counseling is private and confidential, so there is no need to worry about others finding out. All they may notice is that things between the two of you seem to be different, better, improved, and refreshed. You made an investment in this person when you married them and planned a future together. However, you may not have expected that maintenance would be necessary to keep the relationship in its best condition. Like everything else we own, our relationships require care and attention.

You can’t do it alone

Don’t wait any longer thinking you can resolve this issue on your own. I often hear this sentiment, but if you could have done it without help, you probably wouldn’t be reading this. If you could have fixed things alone, your relationship would already be in a better place. It’s not too late to ask for help. Seeking the assistance of a professional to improve your marriage shows your commitment to your partner and your family. They should be your top priority.

Making Every Moment Count

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Feeling like you are missing something?

Do you feel like something is missing in your life? Is it difficult to find joy and happiness in your daily activities? Do you feel overwhelmed by the pressures of life, or are you searching for something more without knowing where to start?

Don’t let the ups and downs of life steal your joy.

As humans, we experience various highs and lows in life. These challenges have the power to overshadow our joy if we allow them to. In such situations, the temptation to hide under the covers or fantasize about escaping from reality may arise. However, avoiding problems, engaging in unhealthy habits, or denying our issues are not real or lasting solutions. In fact, they often lead to more difficulties.

Good News

I work with individuals who are experiencing these same feelings. One common issue that I hear about is the monotony, difficulty, and joylessness of life. While these feelings can be true, life has the potential to be so much more. There are ways to cope with life’s challenges without allowing them to overwhelm you.

Take the first step towards a more fulfilling and blessed life. Contact me for a complimentary 15-minute consultation and stop wasting your precious time feeling down, unhappy, and joyless.

You deserve to be happy!

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and is this approach right for me?

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT is a clinical approach that helps people change their distressing circumstances by first changing the thoughts causing them. Chances are that if you or someone you know is experiencing anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, social anxiety, lack of assertiveness, or adjustment issues the underlying thoughts are contributing in some way. One advantage to seeking professional help is uncovering the core thoughts that perpetuate the distress. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has had great success in treating these and many other conditions.

Clients usually attempt psychotherapy after they have made several attempts at solving their problems using alternate methods. One reason why clients don’t find relief from their distressing situation is that they are not working at the source of the problem. How one views their situation will affect how they will behave and feel. For that reason, it is important to have thoughts that are conducive to the kind of life you want to have. If you feel that your life is not in line with what your dreams or wishes have been, then take control and change the course of your future. Don’t let another year, five or ten go by before you act. The time that passes by can’t be recovered. Learn how to create the life that you like so you can look back at the memories and say, ‘those were the good old days.’

What to expect…
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a time-limited approach. So, you won’t spend year after year in therapy. It is a structured approach that addresses the problems the client is experiencing at the moment.

How it works…
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps clients resolve their distress by recognizing and changing their irrational thoughts, restructuring their core beliefs, and learning to find evidence that supports their thinking.

If you would like to talk to a therapist about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, contact me. I serve Pembroke Pines, Davie, Weston, Southwest Ranches, Plantation, Cooper City and surrounding areas.

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